Tuesday 6 October 2015

Stone Soup

Once upon a time, in a land far away

A group of Yorkshire boulderers sat talking and wishing for something new..

Up from behind the bus shelter popped a wizened old man, who clutching a small leather bag, approached the group saying..


"In my magic bag I have a perfect bouldering adventure, if only I could find someone to share it with.."

"We will! We will!" said the group, welcoming the man into their circle.

"Hmm" said the old man " Whilst this bouldering adventure is perfect, it would be better if we could enjoy it in more mysterious surroundings"

The group overjoyed by the closeness of a new adventure thought hard and then..

" Old man!, Old man! .. We will take you to the dark and brooding autumn forests of a distant land, strewn with ruined castles and high pointed churches set on the topmost peaks of the rolling countryside"... and they did.

"Hmm" said the old man " Whilst this bouldering adventure is perfect it would be better if we could enjoy it in with some complicated cultural backdrop"

The group overjoyed by the closeness of a new adventure thought hard and then..

"Old man!, Old man!... We will take you to a new Republic, fresh born from a dark struggle with its Stalinist past. The country will be littered with brutalist concrete buildings and decaying country houses"..... and they did

"Hmm" said the old man " Whilst this bouldering adventure is perfect it would be better if we could enjoy it in with some stunning rock architecture"

The group overjoyed by the closeness of a new adventure thought hard and then..


"Old man!, Old man!... We will bring you to granite castles of jumbled rock arrayed with soaring aretes, ice sharp crimps and bulging slopers"..... and they did

The old man looked hard now into his small leather bag and said slowly "This perfect bouldering adventure is as good as good could be, If only we could have some local colour"

The group now brimming over with expectation looked around and then...

"Old Man! Old Man! Look around, we have brought you crazy unidentifiable foods, pickled sausages, villagers drinking at 07:00 on Sunday morning, cheap beer, fantastic weather, Eighties pubs, Trains running in the roads and good company, surely now this adventure is ready?..."

At this last word the old man laughed out loud and disappeared into the wind.

Overcome the group called out...

But as they looked around and saw the dark forest crammed with boulders in the warm sunshine, they realised that it was indeed ....

The perfect bouldering adventure


 

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